At 39, training for a “40th birthday 1/2 marathon”.....my hamstring gives out, which unravels SI joint dysfunction, sciatica, and total debility for the next 11 months. It becomes the string that would unravel my life‘a cocoon of patterning. All identities and physical outlets are stripping away.
I’m 40. Pandemic hits. It’s March 2019, and king county is shutting down. My OBGYN calls to say they found a large solid grapefruit sized mass in my ovary, and it could be cancer.
After 1 month of tests, fear & spinning ....im negative for cancer. I now, have to wait 2 months for surgical removal, due to covid. I’m told not to come to the ER. I sit in quiet stillness, in pain, again.
This is when real TRANSFORMATION begins for me. For the first time in my life, daily: I rest, in quiet stillness and nourish myself. I learn about the power of the present moment and surrendering to what is.
I recognize I can ONLY CONTROL MY THOUGHTS, & MY HEART, and how I PERCIEVE EACH MOMENT. ALL THAT I ever needed is within me.
In May, 2020. I undergo surgery..... and the complex LARGE solid cyst has vanished. Surgeons called it a medical miracle. I call it SPONTANEOUS SELF HEALING, of MINDFUL SELF COMPASSION WORK.
I believe I was experiencing physical manifestations of stress and burnout over the entire previous year. I saw how easily I could turn this around and heal myself.I knew if I could do it, anyone could do it. And that's when I decided to share my inner healing tools with others like me.
I knew I wanted to be in medicine at the age of 5. Put my eye on the prize and never looked back. I discovered Alternative medicine at the ripe age of 19 after a near death experience snowboarding at Mount Baker. I learned how to heal my injuries & stress symptoms when I studied under local herbalists and integrative healers.
After traveling in Belize for a medical mission at age 20 and an ethnobotany internship in the SOUTH PACIFIC at age 24, I realized western medicine was the foundation For meeting global health needs and Integration of Eastern/Western Medicine.
I moved to Hawaii at 26 (by myself), to pursue a second degree in nursing. I spent the next 7 years, surfing, scuba diving, meeting my “husband to be”, working as a nurse in low income areas, amidst diverse underserved populations with psychiatric issues, and as a holistic inpatient nurse. I learned how to connect to nature in a more spiritual way. Surfing & the ocean became my soul’s answer to everything.
At the age of 33, I finished my nurse practitioner degree, got married and had my first baby. I returned to nurse practitioner work at 10 weeks post partum.
I then worked in primary care, geriatrics, & for hospice. I became certified in healing touch, aromatherapy, and reflexology along the way. I saw the power of integrating holistic methods in western settings.
At Age 37, with a baby on the way and a 3 year old daughter, we moved back to Seattle to help my father with Dementia. Motherhood surprised me, as it forced me to slow down, love myself and them..... more than adrenaline.
For the next 3 years, I learned to juggle the motherhood, with my NP career. Though I love being a nurse practitioner, it was so hard. I continued to work as a nurse practitioner in king county, up through the pandemic and began to realize what “BURNOUT” looks and feels like.
In August 2020, I left my Hospice/Geriatric Np position behind to start this business, and help others in a different type of way.
Try my 3 minute Guided " Self-compassion" practice when you feel empty or need a transition ritual after your workday. This will leave your cup feeling full.